Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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