So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
