Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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