Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
