Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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