i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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