Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
