I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The Olympian is in my bed
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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