He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
