I just cut my nipple shaving
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
