Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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