why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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