This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
its not stalking. its research.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
