Moan for me like Helen Keller
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
