you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
