I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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