I can tuck mytits in my pants
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My breasts were aching with rage.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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