He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
