if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize