just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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