ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
