i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
