i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
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I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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