Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
two words...techno handjob
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?