what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
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I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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