I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize