So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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