I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
