I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
