we have officially lost it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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