Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
