just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize