I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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