we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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