So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize