nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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