How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
