Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
