I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
