Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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