Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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