I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
