i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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