I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
