Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
