Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
