He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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