a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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