This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
