it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
this hospital has no fireball
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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