i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
