nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
