I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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