just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
