Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
