as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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