Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
