he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize