I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
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We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize