I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize